If you feel "stuck", perhaps this article is for you!
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about why it is that so many people out there feel so stuck. Stuck in their job, stuck in whatever treadmill they find themselves in. Some do a job that does not satisfy them, others are stuck in relationships, family and friends situations. Others are working hard every day to pass their next exams to become a lawyer, but actually much rather live the life of an actor in the theatre.
What all of them have in common when I speak with them, is that they reveal that they have a different dream for themselves, which they would much rather live and explore. Yet, they keep doing what they always do. Not changing a thing.
They subscribe to at least 10 different versions of "Motivational Quote of the Day", but they don't take a single step towards what they rather want from their lives. They read the quotes and tell themselves "yeah, that's right!", but then just go back to what they were doing before. Working on their unhappiness.
Why? Why is it so hard for people to muster up the courage to change?
Here's my theory.
In life, we subconsciously do everything in our power, to PROVE what we BELIEVE.
Read that again: We PROVE what we BELIEVE
If you believe that you are a people magnet, AND are subconsciously aligned with that statement, you WILL continue to find EVIDENCE that this is true. If you believe you are lacking skills, money, time, whatever, AND be subconsciously ALIGNED with that, and you'll find EVIDENCE to prove that you're in lack.
Usually personal development classes teach you behaviours and tools, and they’ll all make sense, but in practice they are useless for you, because you still are convinced that you are lacking something. Otherwise the world would be full of mega successful people. But it’s not like that, is it?
We're afraid to come out of the closet and put ourselves out there, we're afraid of judgment of what our close circle (family, friends, people at work) will think of us if we break out of our old identity and come out with these new things.
If you want to TRANSFORM your life, and truly achieve your dreams, then you need to first of all work on modifying your sense of identity.
If you still identify yourself as that bullied kid or that shy introvert that doesn't want to be seen and deep down still believe that it's not SAFE to be seen, how do you think that creating your dream and putting yourself out there in front of thousands of people will serve you?
You're body and mind will subconsciously try to "protect" you from succeeding. That's what the subconscious programs you built growing up are for: Self-protection. If you believe deep inside that you are for example lacking a skill to succeed, you WILL subconsciously work against yourself.
Perhaps you're about to give a presentation in front of a large audience and you're afraid what people will think? Think of you, about your credibility, your content, how you look? For a lot of people it means that even their body will revolt, their stomach clenches, they want to throw up or run away or both, can't breathe. In this moment, you are preparing yourself to create the PROOF for what you believe you're LACKING.
So more often than not, what needs to be done to thrive, for people who feel stuck, is not to find the next magical idea, the next top 10 success rules, or being told "just do it", but to ACTUALLY REVISIT HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF and what you believe deep down.
Because that's what's truly holding most people back.
A limited view of how you see yourself.
The good news is: This can be upgraded
(With Kudos and thanks for all the great discussions and inspiration to Bernhard Begin!)